She abused him and their son. She made false allegations. She tried to alienate their son from him. When the son was finally able to tell the judge that he wanted to live with his father and his reasons for doing so, BPD mom rejected the boy in retaliation and embarked upon a costly legal campaign undoubtedly fueled by borderline rage.
While Jimbeaux and his son were able to get away from their abuser, they paid a price. Jimbeaux is in debt thanks to a corrupt family court system that time and again enables and empowers malicious, abusive women bent on destruction. His son suffers the scars of having a BPD mom, as do most children left in the sole care of a BPD parent for any significant period of time.
Just Another BPD MomSource
I have been following the In His Own Series and have also experienced similar problems and situations with my ex. A few years back, I learned about a mental disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder. My ex could have been the poster child for BPD.
It was frightening, confusing, and eventually devastating to my life. I, too, lost almost everything…
the house I paid for, custody of our son, friendships, my church fellowship, and so much of my income that I literally went tens of thousands of dollars in debt just to keep up with child support – while working full time, making good money, and living very frugally. In all the years my ex had custody, I remained calm (for the most part) and reasonable in discussions with her, even when she acted erratically and treated me with cruelty and disdain.
She cancelled doctor’s appointments for our son (including mental health counseling when he was angry, depressed, acting out, and failing school), threatened to have me thrown in jail, falsely accused me of physical abuse, and called friends and family in an attempt to convince them that I was pure evil.
In her heart, she believed it – she truly believed that I made the devil look good in comparison. That’s all part of the disorder (black and white thinking, or “splitting” someone). Fortunately, most of my friends and family knew me well enough to completely dismiss her accusations.
Throughout this ordeal, I made our son a priority. I never missed a school event, sports practice, or ballgame. For years I went to his school once a week and read books to his class and ate lunch with him (until he reached high school, at which time he was embarrassed to be seen with me, as is typical for kids that age). I had extended weekends with him (Thursday after school until Monday morning) every other weekend, and only missed one weekend in 15 years.
I was a stabilizing influence for our son, as was (and is) my current wife, whom I met seven years after the divorce. My son felt more comfortable at our house than at my ex’s, and frequently said so. When things deteriorated at her house, including emotional and physical abuse, our son signed an election form indicating he wanted to live with us. This was after the police had to be called to her house on several occasions.
My ex and I had been to court numerous times, almost once a year, as I was forced to enlist the court’s aid in protecting my paternal rights and to enforce the various stipulations in our divorce papers. When our son told his mom he’d signed the form, her response was, “I’m not going to fight your dad over this. Go ahead and move out soon. I’ll see you a couple of times a year at holidays. I’m moving away.” Despite that declaration, she did fight me in court, saying such ludicrous things that the judge didn’t hesitate to transfer custody to me (after having a private chat with our then 15-year old son).
Once our son moved in, he immediately distanced himself from his mom. In the past 16 months, he’s spent two nights with her – and those didn’t go well. He immediately began to improve, getting good grades and slowly letting go of his anger issues, his belief that he was a “fuck-up”, and his depression lifted.
He sees his mom occasionally, usually just for dinner, and even then many times things don’t go well, as she attempts to lay a guilt complex on him or she begins to bad-mouth me. He won’t tolerate either of those things and does not back down from her. He knows that I will always be there for him, he knows how much I love him, and he respects me as much as any 17-year old can respect his father.
On the other hand, between the child support debt and the seemingly endless litigation, I’m horrendously in debt – well over $50k – and my financial future looks bleak. I have no retirement, no savings, and will soon be 55. I have no regrets about the course of action I had to take, but like many of the other men featured in the In His Own Words series, I now recognize that I ignored all the red flags I saw in our relationship, and I know that had I not married her, my life would be (financially at least) much better.
Getting involved with her was the worst decision I ever made, and the second worse decision was not spending every dime to get full custody of him from the beginning. He’s been damaged, I’ve been damaged, and even my current wife is suffering because of my bad decisions. I have many regrets I’m haunted by, but I take much solace in knowing that I showed my true character by fighting for our son and by doing everything I knew to do to be the best father I could be. It’s a privilege to be his father – even though he drives me effing crazy with his 17-year old self-absorption and his habits around the house.
_________________
A “guilty pleasure”: Ignoring the feminist narrative
By : There’s something weird going on in cable-TV land. Something way, way off-script – in comparison to your standard “girl power”/”men are the source of all evil” TV fare.
Discovery ID
is TV’s fastest-growing network. “ID” (as the network calls itself in
short-hand) offers in their latest roster 37 shows, a mix of reality-TV
and true-crime re-enactments which one reviewer uncharitably describes
as “melodramatic, campy, and even cheesy.” Discovery, whose audience is mostly female, bills itself as “America’s
favorite guilty pleasure” and in its programming guide calls its
viewers, which at the moment number close to 800,000, by the cheeky
denominator “ID Addicts.” In their line up, which includes shows such as
“Pretty Bad Girls,” “Fatal Encounters,” “Wives With Knives,” “Frenemies: BFFs Gone Bad,” the second most popular offering – and among the top 30 in ad-sustained primetime shows – is Deadly Women, a re-enactment show featuring in each 30-minute weekly episode three woman-perpetuated homicide cases.
Deadly Women,
with 273 cases in 91 episodes to date - a new one appearing each week
and rebroadcast on a revolving basis - is racking up an impressive body
count. 61 of these murderesses are serial killers, a category of female
criminal still widely, and incorrectly, believed to be less common than
the male counterpart. Yet there are, in fact, over 700 known female serial killers, according to our own independent research.
Deadly Women, along with other sensational ID
offerings that splash lurid stories of predatory women across the
screen, provides, in its idiosyncratic and not-quite-respectable way, a
rare relief from the standard politically correct TV-narrative of “woman
as perpetual victim” and “woman as empowered heroine.” As ID itself tells us: “Deadly Women
fuses bone-chilling story-telling, sumptuous period drama and forensic
fact in a bid to explore history’s most alluring female killers.”
Fact is, Deadly Women, in all its low-brow glory, is an oasis of non-feminist storytelling.
Does this sound like hyperbole?
Just take a look at Deadly Women’s Facebook page.
It has more than 105,000 “likes.” On our recent visit to the page it
showed avid real-time activity, with “2,918 talking about this.” Take a
browse through the show’s promotional episode blurbs and you will find
such blatant and unfashionable expressions of domestic violence as these
nuggets:
- “Not every woman’s heart is filled with love and light. For these women, romance truly is dead, they possess ‘Dark Hearts.’”
- “Tonight’s Deadly Women think their desires matter more than lives.”
- “She was looking for trouble. She wanted to hurt someone.”
- “When a woman thinks her feelings are all that count, she doesn’t care who suffers. A new episode of Deadly Women tomorrow at 10/9c examines these heartless souls.”
- “Tonight’s Deadly Women are smart and cunning. These ladies think that they are ABOVE THE LAW!”
Now, these are not the
sort of insights about the possibilities of female agency that those who
make their living aggressively pushing “gender theory” on a passive
public want us to be mulling over.
The network’s press
office is not even a tiny bit shy about treating women as equal to men
as potential evil-doers, as we see in their most recent press release
issued July 19, 2013:
Femmes Fatales Return with a Vengeance on Season 7 of Investigation Discovery’s Hit Series “DEADLY WOMEN”
Hell hath no fury like a
woman scorned, especially when she’s on a mission to murder. There’s no
shortage of these tempestuous DEADLY WOMEN in season seven of
Investigation Discovery’s signature hit series about women who have been
driven to kill, premiering Friday, July 19 at 10 PM E/P.
While male murderers are
often motivated by anger, impulse, and destruction, women usually have
more complex, long-term motives. Jealousy, revenge, desperation, and
greed all play their devilish hand in driving these daughters, sisters,
mothers, and wives to commit the ultimate sin. Former F.B.I. criminal
profiler Candice DeLong helps viewers distinguish between the
emotionally-charged impulses and sociopathic intentions that lace each
story.
“Sociopathic intentions”? Now, is that appropriate
language to use when describing some poor victim of patriarchy driven to
lash out against the burdens of millennia of institutional oppression
by wielding an antique Japanese sword and slashing her sleeping husband
97 times after smothering her two sons*?
You bet it is.
The show’s hostess, the steely-eyed former FBI
profiler Candice DeLong, pulls no punches in her pointed descriptions of
womanly wantonness. This is a woman who has seen much and has no qualms
about calling a predator a predator. Week
after week Ms. DeLong serves up an impressive hard-boiled slam-down of
the show’s featured women-out-for-blood, never degrading her
presentation of the over-the-top of the empowered women in question with
any “gender theory” woman-as-victim-and-only-victim twaddle.
Sure, this is lurid tabloid true-crime fare, not
the sort of thing that would appeal to the standard AVfM reader, but it
is nevertheless worth a hard look. Nearly 800,000 viewers, mostly women,
are eating up this outside-the-gender-studies-box stuff with both hands
and demanding seconds. These watching women are just not buying the
feminist sugar-and-spice propaganda pushed at them by the standard media
sources. Not one bit.
These “ID Addicts” may not be approaching this
material with a rigorous “cultural critique” mind-set, yet they are
nevertheless profoundly aware of a gaping disconnect between reality and
ideology (a false reality) that most people of a more
intellectual cast delude themselves into embracing. Politically correct
utopianists, convinced that they have the power to construct a superior
future by means of their overbearing “planning” schemes, are
terrified to face the fact that the message hawked everywhere (and at
all times) in our culture – in our schools and in our media – by the
gender ideologues, is a bold-faced bloody lie. It might sound bizarre,
but the fact is that your typical “ID Addict” gal has her feet placed
more formerly on the ground than any typical gender-theory-addled
university professor from any English, or Sociology, or Gender Studies
department.
Deadly Women’s viewership
is certainly going to grow – and there is certainly no shortage of
cases of wanton woman-perpetrated violence to select from. There are
more and more women (who, perhaps, shall be ridiculed by high-falutin’
eggheads as tabloid addicts) that are saner, more credible witnesses to
the reality of women’s agency and responsibility for their own actions than
a smugly politically correct population drunk on the Kool-Aid of
official “gender” dogma. Perhaps a long sit-down in front of a run of Deadly Women episodes ought to be Step One in a 12-Step program for these Kool-Aid-on-the-brain ideology-lushes.
Homicide is far from the only way to destroy a
life. Yet murder cases are among the best-documented varieties of
anti-social incidents, thus homicide cases provide us with a window into
the souls of those who lash out at others. Sociopaths do not always act
directly; indeed, proxy violence – using others to do violence, the
manipulating of courts to destroy others, the use of children to
mentally torture a co-parent, the deployment of false allegations to
destroy another – is an area of sociopathic behavior that finds favor
with hate-filled females. This type of “relational aggression” is harder
than direct aggression to identify, document and describe. So the more
accessible stories of murderesses help us see the female sociopath
mind-set in a more general way.
In such a “bad women project” as Discovery ID offers in Deadly Women
– and so many other reality-based TV productions – you will find a
great deal more accuracy with respect to the psychology of the relations
between the sexes than you will find on such conformity-porn
middle-brow organs of social engineering orthodoxy as The Good Men Project, a “respectable” publication that out-cheesies Deadly Women by a million miles. Deadly Women is worth a look-see and is most certainly worth further discussion within the likewise-growing Men’s Human Rights Movement.
Discovery ID, a $11 billion Godzilla of a media empire, is on a rampage, stomping unceremoniously all over the sacred cows of the “gendered” landscape. And for this, if for nothing else, ID deserves a hearty top-of-the-lungs “Brava!”
***
NOTE:
* This description refers to Deadly Women, Season 14, Episode 73, “Death
Benefits,” premiered November 16, 2012: “Manling Williams enjoys her
freedom, finding life as a wife and mother too confining, but does not
want the financial strain of divorce. Despondent after her extramarital
affair ends, she turns to murder, smothering her two young sons with a
pillow and slashing her husband, Neal, 97 times with his prized Japanese
sword” (Wikipedia). The crime took place Aug. 7, 2007 in Pomona,
California. She was sentenced to death.
SOURCES:
Sara Bibel,
“Investigation Discovery Announces 12 New Original Series Including
‘Wives With Knives’, 22 Returning Series For 2012-13 Season,” Press
Releases April 5th, 2012
Investigation Discovery Continues Record-Setting Pace with Best November in Network History & Reaches 80M HH Mark – America’s fastest growing network, Investigation Discovery (ID) garnered its best November in network history, capping off its 43rd consecutive
month of year-over-year prime gains among HH, P25-54, W25-54 and P2+
delivery, the longest current streak of any ad-supported cable network.
ID has also reached the 80M HH mark, according to the Nielsen Universe
Estimates for December 2012.
“Friday’s Cable Ratings & Broadcast Finals: CBS Tops Viewers, ABC Leads Demos,” 10/07/13, By The Futon Critic Staff – (TFC) select cable Nielsen ratings (national numbers for Friday, October 4, 2013) Here are the highlights of 30 ad-sustained programs that aired in primetime on the broadcast and cable networks last night.
Deadly Women (10:00) – ID
0.791 million viewers, #29; 0.343 million adults 18-49 (0.3 rating), #28 http://www.thefutoncritic.com/ratings/2013/10/07/fridays-cable-ratings-and-broadcast-finals-cbs-tops-viewers-abc-leads-demos-279511/cable_20131004/#qyAamh7O545rFL5B.99
0.791 million viewers, #29; 0.343 million adults 18-49 (0.3 rating), #28 http://www.thefutoncritic.com/ratings/2013/10/07/fridays-cable-ratings-and-broadcast-finals-cbs-tops-viewers-abc-leads-demos-279511/cable_20131004/#qyAamh7O545rFL5B.99
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