5 Jul 2015

The Post Father’s Day Demonization Of Men

By : Over the past weekend, my social media feed was filled with pictures of my friends and followers and their fathers, messages to their fathers, or memorial pictures of their fathers who have passed. Unfortunately, I also noticed a rather disturbing trend by which more and more posters than ever before seemed to be passive-aggressively demonizing men with comments such as, Happy Father’s Day to all the single mom’s out there or we shouldn’t need a day to celebrate what dads should be doing every day.”
I can only imagine how the latter statement would have gone over if someone posted that on Mother’s Day.The sad thing is that these comments aren’t limited to one or two days out of the year- they are simply a reflection of a paradigm shift that has been quietly occurring in our culture over the last several years, as the male species slowly becomes the enemy.
More than Equal Rights
By today’s standards, it is evident that being a champion for women’s’ rights, LGBTQ rights, and the rights of other traditionally repressed minorities is something to be lauded. To criticize any of these groups publicly is almost grounds for crucification by social media. Yet, male-bashing seems to not just be accepted, but has taken on an almost sport-like form. Casual lighthearted jokes about men and relationships aside, it seems like it’s open hunting season when it comes to skewering the integrity and ethics of straight men.

Glen Poole, of the Good Men Project, states that “a key feature of these movements has been to challenge the oppression of the dominant group—such as men oppressing women, straight people oppressing gay people, and so on for each oppressed group.” For so long, members of repressed groups needed someone to blame that over time, society slowly chinked away at the foundation of the patriarchy until males had become a scapegoat for all of the evils in the world.
An Unequal Scrutiny
A quick Google search of “what is wrong with men today” will turn up thousands of hits- many written by reputable media outlets such as this article in Psychology Today, this CNN piece, and this Wall Street Journal article. However, replacing “men” with “women” turns up mostly dating questions by confused males and the occasional poorly-spelled, grammatically incoherent blog written by a man who was clearly scorned yet knew enough about SEO to get prominent placing in Google search results.
While the Wall Street Journal shames men for “tuning in to cable channels like Comedy Central, the Cartoon Network and Spike” and watching “movies with overgrown boy actors like Steve Carell, Luke and Owen Wilson, Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Will Farrell and Seth Rogen, cheering their awesome car crashes, fart jokes, breast and crotch shots, beer pong competitions and other frat-boy pranks.” The same media that points the finger of shame at men for their less-than-refined choices in entertainment often does little but sing the praises of single mothers, many of whom had children outside of wedlock because they had been taught that they “didn’t need a man.”
Fathers Deserve Recognition
The truth is that most children do need men growing up in their life- just as they need strong women. Even same-sex partners generally make it a priority and take a concerted effort to involve both men and women in the lives of their children. Father’s Day isn’t a political agenda. It’s not a personal insult to post-modern feminism or a joint coup by the patriarchy and Hallmark to send women back into the kitchen. It is a combined celebration for the good men of the world.
Jay Watson, a father from Utah, summed it up perfectly when he said, “we deserve this day. I in no way want to take away from the role that a mother plays in a child’s life because there is none other more important, but a father figure plays a huge and important role in a child’s life, whether it be a little girl or boy.”
Here’s hoping that the next generation of those little girls and boys grow up with an equal amount of respect for all parents- regardless of gender.


About Zoe Zorka

Zoe is a Canadian-American writer based in Salt Lake City, Utah. She is the author of Turn Our Eyes Away.

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