24 Nov 2015

Rape Is Not A Feeling

By I’m rather enjoying using my personal account on Twitter these days, although I confess I’m shocked the #cybermob hasn’t mass reported me for abuse, yet. I’ve had to block oodles of them for #cyberviolence, but hitting the block button doesn’t tax me all that much. I guess I’m made of some pretty stern stuff, managing to carry on with my life after people insult me on Twitter.
An on-going conversation on Twitter concerns the tricky matter of rape, consent and alcohol. A hoard of feminist cry-bullies got mad when I tweeted you weren’t raped, you had too much to drink and made a bad decision.” Multiple users insisted that any and all sex with a person who could not legally drive due to alcohol consumption is rape, no exceptions. I really question whether these people have any experience with adult functions at all. They are essentially saying that anyone who cabs it home from a bar, or uses a designated driver, who then goes on to have sex is actually being raped. Or raping. Or something.
And this is where the conversation gets really interesting. When I ask a Twitter feminist if I am a rapist for having sex with my husband when he can’t legally drive, the sputtering begins.
That simply isn’t the scenario they imagine. The victim is always a woman, and the rapist is always a man. But they refuse to admit that #YesMeansYes consent standards are a weapon feminists encourage women to wield against men who have disappointed them in some way, because even feminists understand that to openly state they are weaponizing a devastating crime to punish men is a really shit move. And it amuses me to no end that even those Twitter feminists who do think I’m a rapist still insist it only counts as rape if my husband feels it was rape. No objective standards that apply equally, just his feelings. How am I supposed to know his feelings? Well, he has to tell me, duh…..isn’t that #NoMeansNo?
The screaming really begins when I explain that consent is assumed between the two of us, unless one of us explicitly and openly says no. Yes, we can wake each other up with sex. No, we don’t have to ask. There is no way feminists will get behind the way the vast majority of relationships work. Feminists quite seriously think that any and all sex that does not include explicit, verbal, on-going consent is rape. But only when the ‘victim’ is a woman. I have never, ever asked for permission to have sex with a man. Not ever. Not once. According to feminist rape theory, I am a rapist. A serial rapist. But actual feminists stumble around grasping at any straw they can find to avoid calling me a rapist. They get stuck in a trap where either #NoMeansNo applies, or consent under the influence of alcohol is still consent, and that takes the edge off their ability to use rape accusations as a weapon.
It’s heartening to see men are starting to push back against this inanity, but it comes with a price. The peace-loving, gentle, sweet feminists didn’t like it very much when George Lawlor refused to attend consent classes at his university and posted a selfie with some words that hurt their feelings!

So he [Lawlor] was subjected to a relentless campaign of personal vilification, abused on a bus travelling to the university and hounded out of a bar in Leamington. So ferocious was the condemnation that he even stopped attending lectures.

In a classic Streisand Effect, all feminists managed to accomplish was to send Lawlor’s indignant rejection of their rape and consent theories out across the digital world, where thousands of men joined the rejection, supported by women who are just as sick of feminists trivializing rape as men are. Feminists do real, tangible harm to actual victims of rape with their inane demands that virtually all sex be retroactively defined as rape, depending on how the woman feels about it in the sober light of day. As usual, feminists don’t care about actual victims of rape. Their mission is to create a world in which any man can be brought to his knees on the word of a single woman, supported by no evidence more strenuous than her feelings. If that harms actual women (and men) who have been raped, well, too bad.

Kind of evokes the hysteria of the witch trials. It’s completely absurd that feminists embrace one of the stereotypes an older generation of women fought so hard to dispel: women are hysterical and can’t think without using their feelings. It’s hard to imagine how the original suffragettes would respond to these new feminists: women are so fragile and frail and hysterical they need safe spaces and fainting couches to survive having their ideas challenged. It’s no wonder most people reject feminism. Eventually, these ninnies will simply find themselves isolated in a padded room filled with cookies and coloring books and the rest of us will carry on with adulthood. But they are leaving a dangerous legacy in the form of rape laws, and that requires more than just mocking and derision. Feminist efforts to weaponize rape to control and punish men must be resisted. These laws harm both men and women alike, and the people harmed the most are actual victims of rape.
Feminists might be willing to throw rape victims under the bus to promote their radical plans to punish and control men, but we shouldn’t be. Refuse consent classes. No one needs to learn that rape is bad. Everybody already knows that. Including rapists. They just don’t care. Actual rape is a horrible crime, and we should not allow feminists to turn rape into a he said/she felt trivia game.
For shame, feminists. For shame.
Lots of love,


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