That's right—I fully understand that those things happen. I fully believe that men in those situations deserve help, and I know they're generally less likely to ask for it than women are, not to mention less likely to find help there for them when they do go looking. I get how our society's ridiculously rigid ideas about masculinity mean that men are brought up to believe needing help will make them look weak, especially if it's a woman who's terrorizing them. I know those same suffocating standards also encourage men to stifle strong feelings and any nurturing tendencies, which deprives them of the right to experience the full range of human emotions without shame. That completely fucking sucks! You know how I know all that, and why I think it sucks?
BECAUSE I'M A FEMINIST.
That's the thing, MRAs. By and large, American feminists are really into equality, involved fathers, justice for all, dismantling bullshit gender roles, and helping folks leave dangerous relationships. We would be the natural allies of MRAs, if MRAs were sincerely committed to the causes with which they claim to be chiefly concerned. But no, today's MRAs—unlike the 1970s movement that earnestly sought to free men, alongside women, from the constraints of gender stereotypes, or the 1980s branch that involved a lot of drum circles and crap poetry—are chiefly concerned with one thing, and one thing only: Putting feminists in their place. Which is in the kitchen at best and in the ground at worst, if you ask these unapologetically misogynistic bags of rot.
So fuck you, MRAs. Fuck you for showing up every time women speak, especially about rape and abuse, and trying to make it all about you. Fuck you for derailing threads about the victims of Marc Lépine, a man who screamed about his hatred for feminists as he murdered fourteen women and injured many others, because you also hate feminists and want a fucking cookie for not killing anyone. Fuck you for making rape and death threats against young women who dared to protest a speaking engagement by a man who thinks little girls would enjoy being raped by their fathers if it weren't for society telling them it's dirty. Fuck you for whining about how unfair it is that women might wonder if you're a rapist when you approach them out of nowhere, while completely ignoring how unfair it is that women feel the need to be on guard all the time in public. Or that if we relax and behave normally—drinking, dancing, dressing however we want—you will be the first motherfuckers in line to blame us for getting ourselves raped.
Fuck some of you for being so contemptuous of women, you don't even believe in convicting rapists. Fuck all of you for doing your very best to propagate myths that make it harder for women to be safe—that we're a bunch of lying temptresses who bang hapless men and file bogus rape charges for the lulz, for instance, or that we get into perfectly even fights with our hardworking, loving husbands, then call the cops and have them arrested because we're spiteful bitches. Fuck you for blaming women, feminists, the legal system, and men who aren't misogynistic assholes for your own inability to relate to other human beings in appropriate ways.
Fuck you for pretending your primary goal as a "movement" is anything other than control of women's lives and bodies. Fuck you for being so delusional about how women behave in the real world, you fell for a parody of your worst nightmare—and lined up to support a guy who told you he'd punched his girlfriend. Fuck you for arguing, presumably straight-faced, that facing consequences for hitting your child is basically the same as being a Jewish person in Nazi Germany.
Fuck you for trying to make "misandry" happen. Your feminist enemies don't hate men; we only hate men who proudly stand up for the rights of abusers, rapists, and deadbeat dads.
Fortunately, there aren't very many of you, no matter how hard you try to build a "movement." The simple fact is, most men don't beat, rape, or resent caring for their own children, and thus have no need for the kind of support and "activism" you specialize in. The "work" you do guarantees you'll continue to attract entitled shitbags who hate women, while driving away decent people who thought you might have something interesting to say—right up until they realized what you're really about.
Finally, here is my reply to every pro-MRA comment that has been or will be left on this thread or any other: Fuck you.
Source
Angelo: As regular readers will know, I am a FATHERS RIGHTS ACTIVIST and an original member of the founding UK group F4J (fathers for justice) in 2002. The above seemed like a reasonably balanced feminist rant to me. A fair separation of decent fathers and men from the foolish misogynists. Well said Kate. On misandry, it is a shame when "we get into perfectly even fights with our hardworking, loving husbands, then call the cops and have them arrested because we're spiteful bitches" especially when its a ruse to leave with the kids and cut dad out of the picture forever, now the statistical outcome for 50% of children from the UK's majority disintegrated families, never to see their fathers ever again. It is a percentage that has grown from 40% at the start of the new era fathers rights movement and continues to grow as the indisputably all powerful feminist and gay groups now completely control social rules for the family in the UK.
Well, to me it looked like a feminist rant -- which pretty much precludes any kind of balance. All misandrists say "well said Kate," now. Let's face facts. Feminists do not want equality. Absent men's rights activists, these issues would still have zero attention. I'm not here to say they have no flaws. People will have to decide that on their own. But I am confident that they are not just a bunch of misogynists. Feminists call them that. But then, one can expect that female supremacists will seek a pejorative label to slap on anyone who gets in their way.
ReplyDeleteThe fact is that, to date, men's rights activists bring attention to men's issues. And that's a good thing. I won't be able to be sure what the group's goals are unless and until they have some actual political influence. But I haven't seen any MRA claim (for example) that rape is a good thing. She has simply libeled the activists. But that comes as no surprise to me. I may not yet be in a position to judge the men's rights movement. But I can judge the feminist movement. It is a female supremacist movement that decides that men don't matter. Her "fuck you" is directed at anyone who would champion father's rights or, for that matter, who thinks that men should have any rights at all. To feminists men are just beasts of burden meant to serve women and their desires, and then die.
Thank you pvblivs and happy new year,
DeleteJust posted your excellent blog:
>>"Misandry is hard for people to see because it is so prevalent. You don’t notice anything unusual. It’s just the way it is. It’s the water the fish swim in. Misogyny exists. But it is easily recognized because it is so out of the norm. Racism in the late 1800′s and early 1900′s wasn’t recognized as such. It was just the norm. We see that racism clearly today because it is no longer the norm. We do not see misandry because it is so prevalent. We don’t even think about it."<<
I have been preaching the same message for many years, "It’s the water the fish swim in."
For your information, in the UK we have 'families need fathers' aka FNF who are a well meaning support group trying to help reunite fathers and their children. I clashed with the local organizers for being so out of touch with the reality stated in your post. At least that was their local level of awareness 5 years ago.
On the other hand as one of the leaders of the local chapter of F4J from its inception in 2002, in that company, I was not alone in being fully aware.
Our stand here has only made things worse as the massive all powerful feminazi machine moved in to drown and reverse our progress towards equality at every turn.