Robins: The Perfect Murder Machine + Manatees: I Saw Manatees Gang Rape A Crippled Manatee Once

The Onion: The robin is murder personified. Watch in terror as nature's perfectly crafter killer tears apart worm after worm after worm.

The Onion: There's nothing graceful about forced sexual congress, especially when it's conducted by three big manatees preying on a weaker, injured manatee and you're eight years old on holiday with your parents at Sea World.