Don’t just take things, that’s what the criminals and the government do… The Dissident Dad: That’s something I told my son yesterday when he ripped a book right out of my daughter’s hands. Respecting others and their property, and using conversation to express our wants and desires, is how I am raising my children. Essentially teaching them to grow up to become the opposite of an oppressive state.
Early on as a father, I regularly used spankings to discipline my children, even though it never logically made sense to me. My oldest daughter or son would hit each other, only to have me come in as the authority and spank them, while at the same time telling them to stop hitting each other.
I would never hit my wife, heck I wouldn’t hit a stranger who wasn’t attacking me either, yet I regularly swatted my children on the bottom.
My dad spanked me, and I turned out fine…right? That’s what we all tell ourselves anyway. Ultimately, upon reflecting on my own struggle to think as a sovereign man, I realized that abusing my authority in the house is just as unhealthy in many ways as state-worship, and it isn’t normal since I believe that violence outside of self-defense is wrong.
For many people I know, spanking goes beyond the family history; it’s religion. We’ve all heard the Biblical quote: “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” or at least I did growing up. While writing this article, I learned that the verse out of Proverbs is actually much worse than that. It says, “whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
Now I am sure that there have been all kinds of studies done on the pros and cons of spanking; however, I have a personal study from my own household I’d like to share with you.
In February of 2014, my wife and I decided to end all spankings for good.
We wanted to abide by the golden rule, “do unto others as you want done unto you.” Telling the kids to not hit one another while allowing myself to do so, was conditioning them to accept that people in authority are able to abide by a different set of rules.
This notion that there are laws we all have to follow, yet the authorities don’t, struck me as extremely hypocritical. For example, stealing is universally seen as wrong for you or I, but allow the state to do it under an income tax, and it’s entirely acceptable. Shoot an unarmed man and we get charged for murder, but murder civilians for the state from a drone, and you get a medal.
What I want to share with every parent reading this is something truly amazing, especially when considering just how young my kids are. Shortly after we stopped using violence to discipline our children, our children, who at the time were 2 and 4 years of age, almost immediately stopped fighting physically. Within days, hitting each other was almost down to nothing, and today, 9 months later, I can’t even remember the last time they physically hit one another.
Now when they are upset I will find them arguing, sometimes yelling, but never striking each other, which prior to February of 2014 occurred at least 2 times a day. For the most part, they play peacefully, and when they do argue, I’ll step in and try to help them mediate and come to a resolution. This will help them later in life much more than spankings ever could.
When we stopped physical discipline in February, we took the time to apologize for hitting them. We let them know that violence is wrong, and that mommy and daddy won’t be spanking them anymore.
We try live our lives under a philosophy of respect, which first and foremost consists of treating people how you want to be treated yourself. In most religions, including major ones like Christianity, this is a core belief and commandment, so it doesn’t surprise me that putting it into practice yields some very positive results.
I believe we can truly change the world by loving and respecting our children. That way, we can raise a new generation that doesn’t carry the shackles of our backwards belief systems that unquestionably grant the state, and people in positions of power generally, dangerous and unchallenged power.
- The Dissident Dad
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