There is a great urban myth abounding in conversations about men that needs clarifying.
By It appears that we have forgotten what it means to use language appropriately. We want to group everyone together and place a label on people so we know where they fit. I do not like labels, and I dislike the incorrect use of potentially damaging words more.
As a young woman, I tackled the world head on. I did not label people by race, religion, or gender (and still don’t). Moreover, I was determined that none of the labels other people used would ever limit my future possibilities.
I remember the time I was first called a feminist. I was horrified. I did not buy into the label, and I certainly was not going to be categorized into something that was segregating men and women. I just wanted to be a woman who had a voice.
Feminism by definition is the advocacy for women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
The point was not lost on me, that the feminist movement was needed in the world, and that it was due to its foundations that I had rights and privileges that were not afforded to my mother’s generation. However, even as a young woman, I saw great inequality in what was taking place because of that movement and it did not sit well with me.
What I did not know was that my strong connection to men and their rights and issues would later cause me to be labeled a misogynist.
There is no doubt that misogyny exists in the world. Violence, hatred, and contempt toward women purely because of their gender is abhorrent and intolerable.
We hear about it in the news, in relation to politics, differing cultures, rape, and other crimes committed against women and girls, purely because of their gender. It is simply not okay.
Misogyny by definition indicates reviling a group of people: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.
However, there is a problem.
The use of the word is appearing in everyday conversations as a metaphor for any man (or woman) who stands up for a man’s right to equality. In that context, the label is erroneously applied—and it hurts.
I speak with men about how they show up in the world and how they want to be present in everyday life. They share with me their honest and heartfelt accounts of what matters to them, in their parenting, the respect they receive, the removal of authority, and their desire to reclaim their assertiveness. They do not like being labeled as misogynists simply for speaking up. Neither do I.
The men I have spoken to regarding this subject agree wholeheartedly that misogyny exists and they abhor the very nature of it. They also express great fear of accusations against them, purely for speaking up or defending their rights as a man.
There are two myths that I believe cause us to misapply this label.
Myth #1: Standing Up for the Rights of Men Makes You a Misogynist
No, being pro-men does not mean that you harbor dislike, contempt, or prejudice against women.
What it does mean is that you are a supporter of men’s rights, nothing more. When a man chooses to speak up and make a stand for his entitlements, which is equal to that of a woman’s (right to equal child care, to speak up against violence, or equality in employment), he is not a misogynist.
This man is expressing his desires of the world: access to his children, for instance. He is letting you know that violence and abuse against men is real, it’s happening to him, and it’s hurting him. He is telling you that he feels belittled by having to ask for what is rightfully his. He is telling you the story of his pain.
Myth #2: Disagreeing with a Feminist Statement Automatically Makes You a Misogynist
No, it means there is a countering opinion.
Our culture likes to label by extremes, so if you are a person who dares to disagree with a feminist statement, you must then be a misogynist by default.
Any man or woman who fits the true definition of misogyny will certainly be an anti-feminist, but that does not make any man who wants to restore balance a misogynist.
Let us not forget the elephant in the room. The opposite of misogyny is misandry—the hatred of men—which was endured by many during the early feminist movement and has followed into our modern-day thinking. We need to be mindful that we do not now turn the tables and start labeling women with misandry because that would be unfair …
Recently, Emma Watson’s address to the UN Assembly launched a campaign called HeForShe to end gender inequality once and for all. She articulated well the need to bring men back into the equation and conversations in order to restore true equality.
These men must have a voice. I implore you to not shut them down with an ill-fitting label because you fear them. Listen to their pain. Hear their voices. Have an opinion—we need more discussion, but be mindful of the labels you use.
Editorial note: To our non-surprise, the ideological feminist-dominated GoodMen Doggie Project refused to publish this item. Nothing critical of feminism or its core ideology is allowed on that supposedly pro-male site, as has been noted many, many times in the past. —DE AVfM
Source
As a young woman, I tackled the world head on. I did not label people by race, religion, or gender (and still don’t). Moreover, I was determined that none of the labels other people used would ever limit my future possibilities.
I remember the time I was first called a feminist. I was horrified. I did not buy into the label, and I certainly was not going to be categorized into something that was segregating men and women. I just wanted to be a woman who had a voice.
Feminism by definition is the advocacy for women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
The point was not lost on me, that the feminist movement was needed in the world, and that it was due to its foundations that I had rights and privileges that were not afforded to my mother’s generation. However, even as a young woman, I saw great inequality in what was taking place because of that movement and it did not sit well with me.
What I did not know was that my strong connection to men and their rights and issues would later cause me to be labeled a misogynist.
There is no doubt that misogyny exists in the world. Violence, hatred, and contempt toward women purely because of their gender is abhorrent and intolerable.
We hear about it in the news, in relation to politics, differing cultures, rape, and other crimes committed against women and girls, purely because of their gender. It is simply not okay.
Misogyny by definition indicates reviling a group of people: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.
However, there is a problem.
The use of the word is appearing in everyday conversations as a metaphor for any man (or woman) who stands up for a man’s right to equality. In that context, the label is erroneously applied—and it hurts.
I speak with men about how they show up in the world and how they want to be present in everyday life. They share with me their honest and heartfelt accounts of what matters to them, in their parenting, the respect they receive, the removal of authority, and their desire to reclaim their assertiveness. They do not like being labeled as misogynists simply for speaking up. Neither do I.
The men I have spoken to regarding this subject agree wholeheartedly that misogyny exists and they abhor the very nature of it. They also express great fear of accusations against them, purely for speaking up or defending their rights as a man.
There are two myths that I believe cause us to misapply this label.
Myth #1: Standing Up for the Rights of Men Makes You a Misogynist
No, being pro-men does not mean that you harbor dislike, contempt, or prejudice against women.
What it does mean is that you are a supporter of men’s rights, nothing more. When a man chooses to speak up and make a stand for his entitlements, which is equal to that of a woman’s (right to equal child care, to speak up against violence, or equality in employment), he is not a misogynist.
This man is expressing his desires of the world: access to his children, for instance. He is letting you know that violence and abuse against men is real, it’s happening to him, and it’s hurting him. He is telling you that he feels belittled by having to ask for what is rightfully his. He is telling you the story of his pain.
Myth #2: Disagreeing with a Feminist Statement Automatically Makes You a Misogynist
No, it means there is a countering opinion.
Our culture likes to label by extremes, so if you are a person who dares to disagree with a feminist statement, you must then be a misogynist by default.
Either you are a feminist or you are a sexist/misogynist. There is no box marked ‘other.’—Feminist songwriter Ani DiFrancoQuotes like this confirm the paradoxical view that there is only one way to equality: feminism. The argument itself is inherently flawed. True gender equality is not about being for one side or the other; it is about equality that means being for both.
Any man or woman who fits the true definition of misogyny will certainly be an anti-feminist, but that does not make any man who wants to restore balance a misogynist.
Let us not forget the elephant in the room. The opposite of misogyny is misandry—the hatred of men—which was endured by many during the early feminist movement and has followed into our modern-day thinking. We need to be mindful that we do not now turn the tables and start labeling women with misandry because that would be unfair …
Recently, Emma Watson’s address to the UN Assembly launched a campaign called HeForShe to end gender inequality once and for all. She articulated well the need to bring men back into the equation and conversations in order to restore true equality.
These men must have a voice. I implore you to not shut them down with an ill-fitting label because you fear them. Listen to their pain. Hear their voices. Have an opinion—we need more discussion, but be mindful of the labels you use.
Editorial note: To our non-surprise, the ideological feminist-dominated Good
About Jasmin Newman
Jasmin Newman is a specialist men’s coach in the field of Sex & Relationships. She helps men navigate the path of difficult relationships and resolve issues on an inner journey. A survivor of abuse and trauma she has special empathy for working with those who have also been victims. She is an advocate for equal rights and equal responsibilities.Source
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