Moderate Rebels To Rule Syria LOL - The FKN Newz

"Only just having stepped off the plane from his office where he designed and deployed chemical weapons to kill or intimidate the people of Syria, Major General Adnan Sillu called for western interventions saying, without a hint of shame or irony or perspective, "We, err that's me and the rebels, yes I know believe me I'm just as surprised as you are, we control about 60% of the country, we err, that's my new friends and I, we just need a couple of air strikes here and there and we'll control the entire country, honest I'm not a crook or a murdering scumbag looking for a way out, I'm a freedom fighter, for years I've fought for the freedom of Assad to fuck his own people over and spit on their graves, hey but now that's behind me, err, long live fle bre breremba and the brar Syrian bruhhehe freedom mumbly jumbly, can I have my old job back?"