By : Please take a moment to study the feature picture. It was posted to Twitter by an account called History in Pictures and was accompanied by the caption, “Man begs forgiveness in the Chicago divorce court. 1948.”
Let’s take a little thematic apperception test, and put stories into the imagery. What do you imagine is going through this man’s mind? Is he begging for forgiveness for having had an affair? Or is he just promising that he would pay more attention to his wife and be a better, more attentive husband than he had in the past?
Is his kneeling part of an act? Is he artificially contrite, feigning remorse because she has the upper hand and is about to, as saying goes, take him to the cleaners?
Or is he his lover’s fool, pleading with her not to leave him because he cannot imagine his life without her?
And what do you imagine she is thinking, standing there in her fur coat looking at him on his knees? Is she thinking, “That bastard hit me, or cheated on me, or some other unforgivable sin and I am not taking him back.”?
Or is she thinking, “Hell no, he’s a loser. I can keep the house, half his money and continue having sex with the pool boy.”
Maybe she’s thinking, “Now I have him. He’s begging. Maybe I will let him come crawling back through the back door and he will think twice before he ever says no to me again.”
And you know what? All these scenarios are possible. Indeed, whatever you happen to think is the story hidden in this picture, it really doesn’t matter. The point here is that a hundred totally credible stories in any given marriage could result in a man on his knees begging. Power is often hidden in plain view.
The other point here is that we are not dealing with a systemic boogeyman like feminism. We are talking about what men socially evolved to do with women. You are looking at the one true dominance hierarchy. You’re seeing a man emulating the bottom line between men and women – if it isn’t put in check by the man.
I don’t say this as a segue into another anti-marriage rant. Avoiding marriage is a given in most of my work. The point here is something more than that.
It starts with the time of the photograph, almost 70 years ago, clearly a full generation before men-on-their-knees™ gave feminists the power to contaminate everything in their path.
In 1948, with our men finally back from World War II, we were just two years into the great baby boom. It was the heyday of the then modern family, marked by white picket fences, legal marriages of one man to one woman and family units that were largely expected to stay intact. It was a culture that spoke of divorce in whispers.
Yet I am sure that the people of 1948 would have had no problem coming up with their own stories to explain the scene in the picture. Divorce was far less common then, but when it happened it was no less likely to result in man-on-their-knees™ with women making life altering unilateral decisions.
Hail patriarchy, right?
I brought all this up to say that while many men’s issues are definitely tied to feminist doctrine, we would do well to remember that feminism did little more than exploit weakness men were already demonstrating a very long time before feminist power was a thing.
Think of it this way. Most denizens of the online men’s movement are familiar with the loaded gun metaphor. The rationale being not to marry because the state effectively puts a loaded gun in her hand which she can use with impunity any time she wants.
Look closer at the picture. This is the real loaded gun. And it has a man’s finger on the trigger.
Not just as it relates to family court, but as it relates directly to most any of the negative things afflicting men’s lives, as expressed in suicide, substance abuse, depression, male disposability, and even male violence.
This is also the only power feminists have or ever have had. Without men-on-their-knees™, there would be no feminism.
We have evidence, through history, that the picture from 1948 doesn’t just tell the story of a single man begging for a woman’s mercy in a midcentury Chicago courthouse. It shines the light of reality on who men are. And in the worst possible way, it represents the natural order of things.
We started to see this image being expressed over 900 years ago at the dawn of romantic chivalry but there is no telling how long it was a looming part of the collective unconscious.
All of this is likely driven by the reptilian tendency in men to prioritize reproduction immediately after food and shelter. It’s that cursed little lizard in our unconscious that ranks the opportunity to scatter seeds up there with breathable air, which our conscious mind continually rationalizes behind walls of denial. With rare exceptions, we will tell ourselves anything but the truth where it comes to women.
Gynocentrism, with all its lamented detriment to men, is seen expressed almost exclusively in the actions of men.
And so for me, what all of this boils down to is a really disturbing thing to think about. We are unlikely to ever see full and sweeping change in how most men relate to women. Those of us who can be honest with ourselves, and who chose to act on what we know rationally, are an aberration; an anomaly that the world doesn’t exactly take a shine to.
So many of us have been relegated to the dark comedy section of the world stage. We watch, comment, grieve and sometimes roar in dark laughter about how average men allow themselves, with no help at all, to be broken by average women. You can take that up with God or Darwin as you prefer, but it is what it is.
Blaming feminists or even women is a miss. This is men doing harm to themselves. They have grown accustomed to living life on the lower rung of the dominance ladder with women. And they look to continue doing it to themselves for the next few millennia.
Like I said, the prognosis is bad, globally speaking. Even if we could destroy feminism completely, men would start the cycle again of giving women too much power in their lives. Poor bastards just can’t help it.
As I am so fond of reporting, though, there is an answer to all of this for us lowly outliers. The internet, at least for the time being, is enabling an open critique of gynocentrism, and it is finally starting to reach the disparate minority of men capable of brushing aside the gynocentric fog and seeing themselves worthy of something better.
It is providing men a range of options on what to do and arming them with red pill knowledge. Some, as in MGTOW, just pull the plug. They look at the great big stinking mess and say no thanks. Other men take a less absolute approach and use what they know about the real nature of men and women to improve their reproductive odds, hopefully using that same knowledge to decrease their odds of big problems in the process.
Still others do something more minimal, like getting a strong prenup and actually evaluating a woman long enough to determine that she is not a raging personality disorder.
Each way, of course, comes with different levels of risk, but they are all better options than most men have ever been able to learn about in public forums.
Gents, you are living in the first time in human history that men have near universal access to a corrective message to the on-your-knees narrative. This, to me, is as good as it will ever get. At this point in my life, I am happily prepared to look at the world of men and just be satisfied to the point of smugness that all those bent knees and long looks down the nose are not a part of the way I live, or that I will ever live.
I sincerely hope that does not come as callously indifferent to men who are suffering in ignorance and unteachable. I would not wish the consequences of blind gynocentrism on anyone. But the fact is now that we can point to a virtual Mount Everest of highly thoughtful commentary on what is actually happening between men and women. The truth, with truckloads of support, is a click away from anyone curious. I am all for letting Mr. Darwin take it from there.
And that is a good thing because the more this new narrative opens up, the more we are seeing that a lot of men aggressively pursue the path of ignorance. I suspect that is also a function of the gynocentrism. That gynocentrism, if viewed objectively, provides ample reasons for lower functioning men to stay in the dark about who they are. After all, who wants to look down to look at themselves?
It’s a shame that most of them can’t see that a dose of introspection and a little bit of logic would bring them to their feet.™
Paul Elam the founder of A Voice for Men, focusing on men's mental health issues. Paul was featured in The Red Pill Movie and founded the International Conference on Men's Issues series. He is the co-author of the acclaimed book, Say Goodbye to Crazy, and offers personal consulting for men.
Source
Let’s take a little thematic apperception test, and put stories into the imagery. What do you imagine is going through this man’s mind? Is he begging for forgiveness for having had an affair? Or is he just promising that he would pay more attention to his wife and be a better, more attentive husband than he had in the past?
Is his kneeling part of an act? Is he artificially contrite, feigning remorse because she has the upper hand and is about to, as saying goes, take him to the cleaners?Or is he his lover’s fool, pleading with her not to leave him because he cannot imagine his life without her?
And what do you imagine she is thinking, standing there in her fur coat looking at him on his knees? Is she thinking, “That bastard hit me, or cheated on me, or some other unforgivable sin and I am not taking him back.”?
Or is she thinking, “Hell no, he’s a loser. I can keep the house, half his money and continue having sex with the pool boy.”
Maybe she’s thinking, “Now I have him. He’s begging. Maybe I will let him come crawling back through the back door and he will think twice before he ever says no to me again.”
And you know what? All these scenarios are possible. Indeed, whatever you happen to think is the story hidden in this picture, it really doesn’t matter. The point here is that a hundred totally credible stories in any given marriage could result in a man on his knees begging. Power is often hidden in plain view.
The other point here is that we are not dealing with a systemic boogeyman like feminism. We are talking about what men socially evolved to do with women. You are looking at the one true dominance hierarchy. You’re seeing a man emulating the bottom line between men and women – if it isn’t put in check by the man.
I don’t say this as a segue into another anti-marriage rant. Avoiding marriage is a given in most of my work. The point here is something more than that.
It starts with the time of the photograph, almost 70 years ago, clearly a full generation before men-on-their-knees™ gave feminists the power to contaminate everything in their path.
In 1948, with our men finally back from World War II, we were just two years into the great baby boom. It was the heyday of the then modern family, marked by white picket fences, legal marriages of one man to one woman and family units that were largely expected to stay intact. It was a culture that spoke of divorce in whispers.
Yet I am sure that the people of 1948 would have had no problem coming up with their own stories to explain the scene in the picture. Divorce was far less common then, but when it happened it was no less likely to result in man-on-their-knees™ with women making life altering unilateral decisions.
Hail patriarchy, right?
I brought all this up to say that while many men’s issues are definitely tied to feminist doctrine, we would do well to remember that feminism did little more than exploit weakness men were already demonstrating a very long time before feminist power was a thing.
Think of it this way. Most denizens of the online men’s movement are familiar with the loaded gun metaphor. The rationale being not to marry because the state effectively puts a loaded gun in her hand which she can use with impunity any time she wants.
Look closer at the picture. This is the real loaded gun. And it has a man’s finger on the trigger.
Not just as it relates to family court, but as it relates directly to most any of the negative things afflicting men’s lives, as expressed in suicide, substance abuse, depression, male disposability, and even male violence.
This is also the only power feminists have or ever have had. Without men-on-their-knees™, there would be no feminism.
We have evidence, through history, that the picture from 1948 doesn’t just tell the story of a single man begging for a woman’s mercy in a midcentury Chicago courthouse. It shines the light of reality on who men are. And in the worst possible way, it represents the natural order of things.
We started to see this image being expressed over 900 years ago at the dawn of romantic chivalry but there is no telling how long it was a looming part of the collective unconscious.
All of this is likely driven by the reptilian tendency in men to prioritize reproduction immediately after food and shelter. It’s that cursed little lizard in our unconscious that ranks the opportunity to scatter seeds up there with breathable air, which our conscious mind continually rationalizes behind walls of denial. With rare exceptions, we will tell ourselves anything but the truth where it comes to women.
Gynocentrism, with all its lamented detriment to men, is seen expressed almost exclusively in the actions of men.
And so for me, what all of this boils down to is a really disturbing thing to think about. We are unlikely to ever see full and sweeping change in how most men relate to women. Those of us who can be honest with ourselves, and who chose to act on what we know rationally, are an aberration; an anomaly that the world doesn’t exactly take a shine to.
So many of us have been relegated to the dark comedy section of the world stage. We watch, comment, grieve and sometimes roar in dark laughter about how average men allow themselves, with no help at all, to be broken by average women. You can take that up with God or Darwin as you prefer, but it is what it is.
Blaming feminists or even women is a miss. This is men doing harm to themselves. They have grown accustomed to living life on the lower rung of the dominance ladder with women. And they look to continue doing it to themselves for the next few millennia.
Like I said, the prognosis is bad, globally speaking. Even if we could destroy feminism completely, men would start the cycle again of giving women too much power in their lives. Poor bastards just can’t help it.
As I am so fond of reporting, though, there is an answer to all of this for us lowly outliers. The internet, at least for the time being, is enabling an open critique of gynocentrism, and it is finally starting to reach the disparate minority of men capable of brushing aside the gynocentric fog and seeing themselves worthy of something better.
It is providing men a range of options on what to do and arming them with red pill knowledge. Some, as in MGTOW, just pull the plug. They look at the great big stinking mess and say no thanks. Other men take a less absolute approach and use what they know about the real nature of men and women to improve their reproductive odds, hopefully using that same knowledge to decrease their odds of big problems in the process.
Still others do something more minimal, like getting a strong prenup and actually evaluating a woman long enough to determine that she is not a raging personality disorder.
Each way, of course, comes with different levels of risk, but they are all better options than most men have ever been able to learn about in public forums.
Gents, you are living in the first time in human history that men have near universal access to a corrective message to the on-your-knees narrative. This, to me, is as good as it will ever get. At this point in my life, I am happily prepared to look at the world of men and just be satisfied to the point of smugness that all those bent knees and long looks down the nose are not a part of the way I live, or that I will ever live.
I sincerely hope that does not come as callously indifferent to men who are suffering in ignorance and unteachable. I would not wish the consequences of blind gynocentrism on anyone. But the fact is now that we can point to a virtual Mount Everest of highly thoughtful commentary on what is actually happening between men and women. The truth, with truckloads of support, is a click away from anyone curious. I am all for letting Mr. Darwin take it from there.
And that is a good thing because the more this new narrative opens up, the more we are seeing that a lot of men aggressively pursue the path of ignorance. I suspect that is also a function of the gynocentrism. That gynocentrism, if viewed objectively, provides ample reasons for lower functioning men to stay in the dark about who they are. After all, who wants to look down to look at themselves?
It’s a shame that most of them can’t see that a dose of introspection and a little bit of logic would bring them to their feet.™
About Paul Elam
Paul Elam the founder of A Voice for Men, focusing on men's mental health issues. Paul was featured in The Red Pill Movie and founded the International Conference on Men's Issues series. He is the co-author of the acclaimed book, Say Goodbye to Crazy, and offers personal consulting for men.Source
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