Elmo Caught Up In #MeToo

'Those arms! Those little furry red arms!'

By Robert Brockway: Popular Sesame Street character Elmo is the latest to be caught up in the ongoing #MeToo scandal. Two women working on the set of Sesame Street have claimed that Elmo tickles cast and crew without their consent.
One brave young woman, who made her complaint anonymously, had this to say about Elmo’s behaviour:

As I had done every day since starting this job I took a cigar and bottle of Scotch to Elmo’s dressing room after filming had completed for the day. Usually, I’d just knock and a red furry hand would come out to grab the cigar and booze. This time it was different. Elmo invited me in. When I went to put the cigar and Scotch on a table he closed and locked the door behind me. I was trapped. And then it happened. Elmo tickled me! I tried to say no but the word wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I got the “n” out but I just couldn’t say “o”. The tickling went on and on. I thought it would never end. And then we had sex. I was so happy the tickling had stopped.

This brave strong young woman confirmed this incident happened several years ago. When asked why she did not report it sooner she confirmed she only realised she had been tickled against her will after a discussion with feminist icon Miss Piggy.
Another brave strong powerful young woman, who also made her complaint anonymously, claimed to have been tickled by Elmo without her consent after last year’s wrap party:

Those arms! Those little furry red arms! They’re so flexible. If Elmo wants to tickle you then Elmo gets to tickle you!

This brave strong powerful amazing young woman also confirmed the alleged incident happened several years ago. She noted:

When I saw that another brave strong powerful amazing fabulous young woman had made an anonymous complaint against Elmo I felt it was time for me, as a brave strong powerful amazing fabulous terrific young woman to step forward.

Elmo was contacted for comment and had this to say in a high pitched squeaky voice:

Elmo has no comment! Talk to Elmo’s lawyers!

Elmo is reportedly three and a half but as a male bears all responsibility during any interactions with these brave strong powerful amazing fabulous terrific bold young women.

The featured image depicts Elmo allegedly caught staring at the butt of a fellow muppet. Credit John Lambert, rider of the unicycle, for inspiring this article.

Source