10 Things I Want From Men + If Only Feminism Was More Like Amy Schumer

AlyssMajere: No one should define who you are or what you do except you. Be true to yourself guys don't let any woman shame you for being male, Your masculinity is beautiful.

______

 


If Only Feminism Was More Like Amy Schumer
Christopher Cantwell: Amy Schumer is by far my favorite female comedian. Not that this says much, because I don’t appreciate most female comedians. In Amy’s case however, she stands side by side with Jim Norton, Opie & Anthony, Patrice O’Neal, Doug Stanhope, and not far behind George Carlin. In fact, I think I laughed harder at many of Amy’s jokes than I did at Carlin’s, even if Carlin was more interesting to listen to in general.
I became aware of Amy on the Opie & Anthony show some years back. Like most comics, she is self deprecating, and talks about sex frequently. She refers to herself as a whore from time to time. She makes sexist comments against her own gender, because it fits a certain stereotype which, for better or worse, makes a joke funny.

But Amy, unlike most modern feminists, knows that this does not diminish her as a human being. She is, in fact, empowered by her sexuality and her ability to make people laugh. She is not a man, nor does she desire to be. She is a woman, and she takes advantage of her differences with men in her humor.
She does not condemn men for making jokes about women. You’ll never hear her throw out ad hominem attacks like “sexist” or “misogynist”. She works side by side with male comics, and she comes back with witty retorts. She makes fun of men, like they make fun of women, and understands it is all for the sake of entertainment. Rather than complaining about inequality in the comedy business, she strives to be the best, and in this, she excels.

So when she gave the this speech at the Ms. Foundation Gala, I was touched, but not surprised. Amy understands that her self worth is a thing of herself. She does not figure it out by how society deems her, she figures it out for herself.

In her speech, Amy describes being the queen of her high school. When she got to college however, things changed. She wasn’t getting the attention from men to which she had become accustomed, she was no longer at the top of the social structure, she gained weight. Not surprisingly, this had a very negative impact on her self esteem “I’m embarrassed to say, it was killing me” she said.

She describes getting attention from an older boy on campus named Matt, and how this attention felt like success to her. One morning, Matt called and invited her over to his place, and Amy got all excited about spending the day with this older boy. She had all these fantastic ideas about what a wonderful relationship she was about to start with this guy, and that brought her self esteem back up.

This was short lived however, because when Amy showed up, Matt was drunk. She wasn’t the first girl he called in the morning, she was the last girl he called of the night. He wasn’t looking to start a beautiful relationship with her, he was looking for a booty call. Amy didn’t feel so good about this, but she was attention starved and went along with it anyway. She describes in some detail Matt’s failed attempt to consummate, mocking the firmness of his erection, his oral talents, and his general inability to perform, before he fell asleep on top of her.

Her eyes teared up as she laid in his bed, and she described feeling terrible about herself because of the actions of this young man. Then, as the love songs played off the CD he had started before losing consciousness, something clicked. Amy realized she needed to pick herself up and get out of there. “I became my own fairy godmother” said Amy.

And that’s exactly what she did. Today, Amy is a brilliant and successful comedian. She has been on Last Comic Standing, David Letterman, Howard Stern, and Opie & Anthony. She’s been featured in a number of Comedy Central Roasts, and even has her own TV series on Comedy Central titled “Inside Amy Schumer“. She didn’t let Matt decide her value. She didn’t ask congress to pass a law. She didn’t run around complaining about society, or patriarchy, or sexism. She decided to be great, and great she became. As she puts it;

I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story — I will.

I wish feminism understood this. A woman’s self worth is a thing of her self. Nobody can give it to her, and all attempts to try will fail and make matters worse. It has nothing to do with how a man sees her, or how “society” sees her. If she has self esteem issues, they are her’s to deal with. Laws, social engineering, society, they can’t fix it. It’s not a “patriarchy” keeping you down, and saying so only diminishes your ability to bring yourselves up. Take the responsibility for yourselves to be great, and great you shall be. Blame it on others, and you will live in misery forever.

Source