By If I ever wrote something that demanded qualification up front, this is it. I want to go on the record saying that I am a personal supporter of the Canadian Association for Equality (CAFE), have donated money to them, attended their events, put this website to use regularly disseminating their press releases and have been harshly critical of those who have actively sought to silence their voices.
I sometimes wonder if that support has been my wisest choice.
My feelings along this line are not because representatives from CAFE have publicly thrown AVFM under the bus, even though they have. Nor is it because of the massive elephant that was in the room during the Miles Groth lecture last year, when they thanked so many people for helping them host the event, except for AVFM (after we – meaning AVFM readers — helped them raise six times the security money needed for their presentation).
At this same event a CAFE representative proudly, publicly, and quite sneeringly scoffed at the idea of men’s “rights,” a shot I interpreted as a direct insult to those of us who actually believe men should have them.
However, my concerns about CAFE now are deeper and more ominous than media miscues, thoughtless remarks and intentional lapses in decorum.
Recently we witnessed CAFE being given the boot at the Toronto Pride Event, with the utterly false reasoning that they did not reflect the values of tolerance and inclusivity. This comes on the heels of a lecture they scheduled by Janice Fiamengo that was simply not allowed to happen, because CAFE officials failed to plan and stood by impotently as it happened. They had plenty of experience to prepare for that event, and appears they did not learn a lot from any of it.
Even this, still, is not my overarching concern about CAFE and where they are (or are not) heading.
As most here know, we recently concluded, with scarcely any incidents, a fabulously successful International Conference on Men’s Issues in Detroit; St. Clair Shores to be precise.
At the end of that conference we held a panel discussion on the future of activism. CAFE representatives were invited to participate, and indeed CAFE’s Adam McPhee agreed and took a seat with the rest of us, voicing his opinions.
The video of that talk will be released later today with any luck. During that talk, McPhee said something interesting, disturbing actually, given CAFE’s track record of how they choose to “do business.”
I am paraphrasing here what you will see later in the video. He made a statement that I found as offensive as I did false; something to the effect ‘we need to push out the radicals on both sides’ meaning feminists and MRAs. The video will provide his exact wording.
First let me say, if there is a working branch of the MHRM that are radicals, seeking radical goals which mirror those of radical feminism, McPhee failed to mention who they are. Personally, I would like to know because I am not aware of them.
Perhaps in a strange way, though, I am.
I can only give you my opinion on what he meant, but one I assert is based on a fair amount of experience dealing with and supporting this group, as well as watching how they handle dissent and conflict.
By MRA radicals, he means AVFM.
If you are a supporter of our work, he means you.
Here is the problem with being a politician instead of an activist. It makes you, well, a politician. And as most informed people in this culture know, politicians are shape-shifters, not so much adopting a set of values and abiding by them, but adopting a set of messages and shaping them as needed for public consumption. Sadly, I have seen CAFE do this from the start, and the most it has resulted in is an inability to do what they set out to do in any public venue. They have been shut down by the tiniest and weakest of bullies despite all their efforts to be seen as the nice guys of men’s advocacy.
It quite frankly embarrasses me for them.
When public acceptance, popularity and perceived palatability takes precedence over your values, then your values are not worth much. They are just one more flexible, disposable feature in your toolbox to shape public image. Values of convenience are a betrayal no more and no less than what we see with elected politicians who care nothing of real issues until those issues affect the polls.
Politicians stand for nothing but votes. They invariably find themselves in the public eye more resembling snakes than servants.
If CAFE wants to have a future that includes credibility, not to mention actually raising awareness of issues that affect men and boys, they will need to abandon the PR dog and pony show and start showing some resolve, some fucking spine, for what they claim to be doing. And they will have to take a brutally firm assessment of just how much failure is now being attached to their efforts.
There is a monstrously powerful machine of gender ideology that is now seeking to silence any good faith effort to bring relief to problems faced by men and boys. As CAFE should be able to see with crystal clarity at this point, public posturing in an attempt to portray themselves as the “good guys” vs the likes of AVFM and others who are putting their mouths where their values are, is a recipe for nothing but continued successful attacks from their opponents, and a loss of faith in those who would otherwise continue to support their efforts.
The last thing the Men’s Human Rights Movement needs is an activist version of the Good Men Project.
Source
In Toronto and Detroit, activists allow gender ideologues to betray gay men
By : The blow fell too late for a counter-punch. But that seems to have been the idea behind Pride Toronto’s arbitrary ejection of the Canadian Association for Equality (CAFE) from Sunday’s parade just days beforehand, leaving no time for an appeal of the decision.
The annual Pride event in Canada’s biggest city is supposed to be a celebration of all things and causes relating to gay culture and, more broadly, to formerly marginalized sexual identities. It’s supposed to be a big tent. But as the treatment of CAFE (pronounced café) shows us, only those groups with a politically correct agenda are seen as acceptable.
According to its own policy, Pride Toronto doesn’t permit cancellations after June 21—thereby ensuring that groups have an opportunity to respond to complaints lodged against them. CAFE, which has charity status (giving it more legal standing than most of the other participating groups), took part last year without incident and had two months ago successfully registered to walk this year, its name appearing in official Pride literature.
CAFE was given no substantive reason for the rejection, just a note from the Pride organizers: “It has come to our attention that the work of your organization may contravene the spirit of the mission, vision, and values of Pride Toronto and WorldPride.” And that was it. The right to march was withdrawn. At a stroke, CAFE was lumped in with pedophilia-promoting groups such as Men Loving Boys Loving Men, the only other type of group I could find to have been spurned by Pride as inconsistent with its mission.
For those who follow Pride politics, a certain irony leaps out here. The Ontario English Catholic Teachers Association marches, even though it is affiliated with some gay-alliance-unfriendly Catholic schools. More controversially, Pride defends the presence of the anti-Zionist group Queers Against Israeli Apartheid, perceived as an outright hate group by many Jews, not to mention by many non-Jews, who can see that QuAIA’s mandate has nothing to do with Pride’s objectives (and in fact makes a mockery of them in focusing negative attention on the only gay-friendly nation in the Middle East).
This incident could not have been more personally ironic from my perspective. I have just returned from the world’s First International Men’s Rights Conference, sponsored by A Voice for Men (AVfM), held in Detroit. The range of topics addressed included paternity fraud, custody iniquities, the astronomical suicide rates among military veterans, the absence of resources for male victims of domestic abuse, and the “boy crisis” in education. (I myself spoke on misandry in the media.)
Everything went swimmingly. But the fact that it took place at all was a triumph of resourcefulness and determination. For just as CAFE was sideswiped by feminist protest at the last minute here in Canada, so was AVfM. The DoubleTree Hilton hotel, the conference’s venue, received threats from feminist activists. Reflexively, the hotel imposed unmeetable conditions on organizers, and another venue had to be found on short notice.
AVfM was luckier than CAFE. Hats off to the Veterans of Foreign Wars Association of St. Clair Shores, Michigan, for its warm and cooperative hosting of the conference.
The Detroit protesters did win one battle in the sense that they imposed a great deal of inconvenience on participants (constant shuttling between motels and the venue), not to mention the $10,000 it cost AVfM for a police presence that wasn’t necessary since the protesters’ objectives of causing financial and logistical hardship had already been achieved.
The feminist revolution began as a fight for equity reform in law, education, and career opportunity. Those objectives were quickly achieved. But as in all revolutions, justice is never enough for the true believers; for them, the revolution is never over until all dissent from their dogmas is squashed.
And so the purges begin. In this case, the Detroit attempt gave strength to the counter-movement. But in Toronto, CAFE was sent to the guillotine while feminists’ knitting needles flashed in the hot summer sun.
About Barbara Kay
Source
I sometimes wonder if that support has been my wisest choice.My feelings along this line are not because representatives from CAFE have publicly thrown AVFM under the bus, even though they have. Nor is it because of the massive elephant that was in the room during the Miles Groth lecture last year, when they thanked so many people for helping them host the event, except for AVFM (after we – meaning AVFM readers — helped them raise six times the security money needed for their presentation).
At this same event a CAFE representative proudly, publicly, and quite sneeringly scoffed at the idea of men’s “rights,” a shot I interpreted as a direct insult to those of us who actually believe men should have them.
However, my concerns about CAFE now are deeper and more ominous than media miscues, thoughtless remarks and intentional lapses in decorum.
Recently we witnessed CAFE being given the boot at the Toronto Pride Event, with the utterly false reasoning that they did not reflect the values of tolerance and inclusivity. This comes on the heels of a lecture they scheduled by Janice Fiamengo that was simply not allowed to happen, because CAFE officials failed to plan and stood by impotently as it happened. They had plenty of experience to prepare for that event, and appears they did not learn a lot from any of it.
Even this, still, is not my overarching concern about CAFE and where they are (or are not) heading.
As most here know, we recently concluded, with scarcely any incidents, a fabulously successful International Conference on Men’s Issues in Detroit; St. Clair Shores to be precise.
At the end of that conference we held a panel discussion on the future of activism. CAFE representatives were invited to participate, and indeed CAFE’s Adam McPhee agreed and took a seat with the rest of us, voicing his opinions.
The video of that talk will be released later today with any luck. During that talk, McPhee said something interesting, disturbing actually, given CAFE’s track record of how they choose to “do business.”
I am paraphrasing here what you will see later in the video. He made a statement that I found as offensive as I did false; something to the effect ‘we need to push out the radicals on both sides’ meaning feminists and MRAs. The video will provide his exact wording.
First let me say, if there is a working branch of the MHRM that are radicals, seeking radical goals which mirror those of radical feminism, McPhee failed to mention who they are. Personally, I would like to know because I am not aware of them.
Perhaps in a strange way, though, I am.
I can only give you my opinion on what he meant, but one I assert is based on a fair amount of experience dealing with and supporting this group, as well as watching how they handle dissent and conflict.
By MRA radicals, he means AVFM.
If you are a supporter of our work, he means you.
Here is the problem with being a politician instead of an activist. It makes you, well, a politician. And as most informed people in this culture know, politicians are shape-shifters, not so much adopting a set of values and abiding by them, but adopting a set of messages and shaping them as needed for public consumption. Sadly, I have seen CAFE do this from the start, and the most it has resulted in is an inability to do what they set out to do in any public venue. They have been shut down by the tiniest and weakest of bullies despite all their efforts to be seen as the nice guys of men’s advocacy.
It quite frankly embarrasses me for them.
When public acceptance, popularity and perceived palatability takes precedence over your values, then your values are not worth much. They are just one more flexible, disposable feature in your toolbox to shape public image. Values of convenience are a betrayal no more and no less than what we see with elected politicians who care nothing of real issues until those issues affect the polls.
Politicians stand for nothing but votes. They invariably find themselves in the public eye more resembling snakes than servants.
If CAFE wants to have a future that includes credibility, not to mention actually raising awareness of issues that affect men and boys, they will need to abandon the PR dog and pony show and start showing some resolve, some fucking spine, for what they claim to be doing. And they will have to take a brutally firm assessment of just how much failure is now being attached to their efforts.
There is a monstrously powerful machine of gender ideology that is now seeking to silence any good faith effort to bring relief to problems faced by men and boys. As CAFE should be able to see with crystal clarity at this point, public posturing in an attempt to portray themselves as the “good guys” vs the likes of AVFM and others who are putting their mouths where their values are, is a recipe for nothing but continued successful attacks from their opponents, and a loss of faith in those who would otherwise continue to support their efforts.
The last thing the Men’s Human Rights Movement needs is an activist version of the Good Men Project.
About Paul Elam
Paul Elam is the founder and publisher of A Voice for Men, the founder of A Voice for Men Radio, the AVfM YouTube Channel, and appears weekly on AVFM Intelligence Report, Going Mental with Dr. Tara Palmatier and monthly on MANstream Media with Warren Farrell and Tom Golden.
Source
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In Toronto and Detroit, activists allow gender ideologues to betray gay men
By : The blow fell too late for a counter-punch. But that seems to have been the idea behind Pride Toronto’s arbitrary ejection of the Canadian Association for Equality (CAFE) from Sunday’s parade just days beforehand, leaving no time for an appeal of the decision.The annual Pride event in Canada’s biggest city is supposed to be a celebration of all things and causes relating to gay culture and, more broadly, to formerly marginalized sexual identities. It’s supposed to be a big tent. But as the treatment of CAFE (pronounced café) shows us, only those groups with a politically correct agenda are seen as acceptable.
According to its own policy, Pride Toronto doesn’t permit cancellations after June 21—thereby ensuring that groups have an opportunity to respond to complaints lodged against them. CAFE, which has charity status (giving it more legal standing than most of the other participating groups), took part last year without incident and had two months ago successfully registered to walk this year, its name appearing in official Pride literature.
CAFE was given no substantive reason for the rejection, just a note from the Pride organizers: “It has come to our attention that the work of your organization may contravene the spirit of the mission, vision, and values of Pride Toronto and WorldPride.” And that was it. The right to march was withdrawn. At a stroke, CAFE was lumped in with pedophilia-promoting groups such as Men Loving Boys Loving Men, the only other type of group I could find to have been spurned by Pride as inconsistent with its mission.
Pride is supposed to be a big-tent event. But as the treatment of a men’s rights group shows, left-wing activists have a veto on who gets to march.Although CAFE’s broad mandate is freedom of speech, much of its activity has focused on raising awareness of men’s issues—including those that affect, say, the right of gay men (and all men) to have equal parenting rights under Canadian law. But feminists regard any such advocacy as a threat to their dogma. And so feminist activists, occasionally aggressive, have attended almost every men’s rights speaker sponsored by CAFE on Canadian university campuses. (I was one such speaker two years ago.) It therefore isn’t much of a stretch to infer that CAFE was booted from Pride because of the complaints of militant feminists.
For those who follow Pride politics, a certain irony leaps out here. The Ontario English Catholic Teachers Association marches, even though it is affiliated with some gay-alliance-unfriendly Catholic schools. More controversially, Pride defends the presence of the anti-Zionist group Queers Against Israeli Apartheid, perceived as an outright hate group by many Jews, not to mention by many non-Jews, who can see that QuAIA’s mandate has nothing to do with Pride’s objectives (and in fact makes a mockery of them in focusing negative attention on the only gay-friendly nation in the Middle East).
This incident could not have been more personally ironic from my perspective. I have just returned from the world’s First International Men’s Rights Conference, sponsored by A Voice for Men (AVfM), held in Detroit. The range of topics addressed included paternity fraud, custody iniquities, the astronomical suicide rates among military veterans, the absence of resources for male victims of domestic abuse, and the “boy crisis” in education. (I myself spoke on misandry in the media.)
Everything went swimmingly. But the fact that it took place at all was a triumph of resourcefulness and determination. For just as CAFE was sideswiped by feminist protest at the last minute here in Canada, so was AVfM. The DoubleTree Hilton hotel, the conference’s venue, received threats from feminist activists. Reflexively, the hotel imposed unmeetable conditions on organizers, and another venue had to be found on short notice.
AVfM was luckier than CAFE. Hats off to the Veterans of Foreign Wars Association of St. Clair Shores, Michigan, for its warm and cooperative hosting of the conference.
The Detroit protesters did win one battle in the sense that they imposed a great deal of inconvenience on participants (constant shuttling between motels and the venue), not to mention the $10,000 it cost AVfM for a police presence that wasn’t necessary since the protesters’ objectives of causing financial and logistical hardship had already been achieved.
The feminist revolution began as a fight for equity reform in law, education, and career opportunity. Those objectives were quickly achieved. But as in all revolutions, justice is never enough for the true believers; for them, the revolution is never over until all dissent from their dogmas is squashed.
And so the purges begin. In this case, the Detroit attempt gave strength to the counter-movement. But in Toronto, CAFE was sent to the guillotine while feminists’ knitting needles flashed in the hot summer sun.
About Barbara Kay
Barbara Kay is a graduate of the University of Toronto and received a Master of Arts from McGill University, and has taught literature at Concordia University and several CEGEPs. She is also a columnist for Canada's National Post.
Source
CAFE throws AVFM under the bus ? They sure as hell do. I saw a video a month or two ago where they were promoting themselves and threw in some comment about AVFM and that was my exact thought at the time. I like CAFE in general, but they can definitely be jerks in an attempt to distance themselves from the "controversial" men's groups.
ReplyDeleteI am watching from the UK and was pleased to see some cooperation a while back with the security issue etc.. What is happening now is a great shame. This is bound to happen and as usual we will have to rise to the occasion and beat them into submission with our unassailable bricks of logic. ;)
Delete"controversial" men's groups. ...Ive been at it for long enough to know that the vast majority of men and women involved in the movement are good and decent people. In UK F4J, it's just a bunch of bewildered, loving dads trying to do anything possible to be with their kids. You would think that was just about the most laudable thing a man could do. There is only one controversial group. ...The feminists.