I’ve read Patricia Pearson’s When She Was Bad: Violent Women and the Myth of Innocence (the original subtitle was How and Why Women Get Away With Murder), which explores our cultural ideas about women and power and violence. Culturally, we absolutely hate to acknowledge that women are capable of horrific violence, and can mete out violence without mercy or remorse. That violates some deeply held beliefs about women and femininity – I certainly understand the depth of those feelings!
I will give feminism some credit for being willing to explore our sexist and prejudiced assumptions about women and violence, but it absolutely must be pointed out that feminism will only engage in criticism of these ideas when they stand to benefit: feminists will cling desperately to stereotypes about women and violence when it is in their interest to do so.
For example, feminists will argue that women should be firefighters on the grounds that they are just as strong and capable and brave as men (even though they’re not, and can’t pass the fitness test).