Sorry, Serena, it's not the grunting women who are being underpaid in tennis - it's the men!
Anger always brings out the latent cockney in my husband, obliging me to grab a shearling jacket and walk like Fagin from Oliver Twist in preparation for the big news.
'We've only gone and landed tickets for the Women's Semi-Final...
...I wonder if Tony the Tout will take them off my hands.'
And off he went, ranting to himself about a crap two-setter with grunting women, praying for rain so we might get the chance to see a postponed male semi.
I can't say a male semi has ever really got my juices flowing. But the prospect of watching women play tennis is not on my list of fun things to do in the sun — a universal attitude reflected in ticket sales and viewing figures for the Grand Slams on TV.
Last year's Men's Wimbledon Final took three hours to play and was watched by 9.2 million people. Less than half that number tuned in to see Serena Williams beat Garbine Muguruza in straight sets — which took less time than it takes for me to get my highlights done.