By We all understand motivating other people’s behaviour through
selective rewards and punishments. This is often expressed in the
metaphor of a carrot and a stick. Entice with the carrot, beat with the
stick. The image springing to mind is one of a draft animal, yoked to a
cart.
If you’re a part of this human rights movement, or even if you’re
simply male, then you also know the present culture believes that for
those beasts of burden called “men,” a persistent climate of attack is
just about perfect to keep those unruly animals in line.
I have not included examples, because anyone who claims to need examples to understand the point is either lying, or too willfully stupid to bother explaining to.
If you are a man, you are a bad person. You’re stupid, you’re unworthy, probably a creep, potentially a rapist, certainly violent, emotionally stunted, sexually inadequate and/or sexually predatory, you smell, you have no style, and you’re a controlling oppressive untermensch. Unless and until you conform exactly to what the women around you want you to do, to say and to be, then you’re maybe an okay dude. Provisionally on your continued good behavior, of course. Oh yeah, and most of all you’re utterly and totally disposable – never forget that, bub.
Obviously, the various lame-stream channels of public reinforcement of the blue kool-aid that we all swim in spins endless variations of this: “y’all no-good man-boys who should do what you’re told”.
And then, every once in a long while, somebody broadcasts or publishes a piece addressing the male subset of the human race in a positive light. Hey guys, you’re okay. Hell, we like you. You’re even human beings, by golly, with feelings and everything. Hug!
The stick, and then the carrot. The most recent example of occasional positive coverage being a HuffPo article presently being praised by some of the readers of the men’s rights subreddit. “Dear Men: You Are Already Good Enough” [1] is an article written by Kate Bartolotta.
Taken by itself, it’s not a bad article. In fact, it lists a number of the very same complaints about the public climate of male vilification that writers at AVFM (including me) have frequently discussed.
Some of the comments in the men’s rights reddit posting of this particular article include the following:
In the comments thread of the HuffPo article itself, as I wrote this, the top-most comment was something so craven I was about to call a “pathetic dog” until noticed the commenter’s own username. What he calls himself: thatdogguy.
“Kate, thank you, thank you, thank you! By the way, will you marry me?”
Am I being too harsh to call this character a pathetic, approval-seeking dog?
Anja Eriud, writing for this site pointed out only 2 days ago: “..that women feel they reserve the right to arbitrate and exercise approval of male actions, male behaviour, and in fact male autonomy.”[2]
The point, for self-defining men of loudly disdaining engagement with the public firehose-torrent of male shaming, male villification, male-marginalizing rhetoric and ideology is not to coax some sort of positive feedback from that ideological public who until now have used the stick to coerce compliance, rather than the carrot.
The point is not to win some slivers of sympathy or praise from those who have, until now, shoveled scorn and contempt onto you, your brothers, your fathers, your sons, or your male colleagues and friends.
The point is that, whether enticed by the carrot of praise and recognition, or driven by that practiced “stick” of pain, shame and degradation; you – a man – are not a motherfucking draft animal. Neither are you anybody’s dog to be petted or swatted with rolled-up newspaper. You are a human being.
At what point did any of us agree that who and what we are, what our public identities as humans should be, would be appropriately decided by the self-interest of narcissists, overgrown toddlers, and collectivist ideological solipsists? My choices are: I’m a decent human being, or, I’m a bad man based on the self-interested opinions of members of our society’s leisure class?
No.
Which is why, besides my open contempt for the populist male vilifying narrative so pervasive it becomes the air we all breath, I have an equal disdain for praise, sympathy or affirmation from any voice in that same public discourse.
Kate Bartolotta, the author of “Dear Men: You Are Already Good Enough” might even have meant it. On the other hand, the article was originally published at the “good men project” website, a feminist site created explicitly to undermine the men’s human rights movement, so maybe we’re right back to carrot and stick.
In case anybody reading this is a slow learner, the carrot and the stick are both metaphorical tools of coercion.
So somebody in a mainstream channel has something nice, or kind to say about you if you’re male? Watching the backflips of joy from affection-starved dogs demonstrates that those fools still haven’t realized their identities do not belong to the public to be conferred on them by consensus.
“I needed this, thankyou.”
I don’t know if Bartolotta’s motivation was benign or otherwise when she wrote: “ Dear Men: You Are Already Good Enough.” However, whatever her purpose was, I don’t care. The metaphorical carrot, no less than the stick, is a tool of manipulation. Bartolotta and every other commentator looking for a lever can take their stick and their carrot, and stick them both right up their own lower alimentary canals.
Dear Kate Bartolotta: it is not your prerogative to tell me, or any other man, he’s “good enough”. His identity is his own, and if you’re lucky, when he’s decided, he may tell you who and what he is. He also might not tell you, because that’s his prerogative too. And, don’t take this too personally, but fuck off, Kate. And of course, whatever your motivation was, thanks you for your kind attention.
But in all seriousness, you can still shove it.
And one more thing: responding to this missive by Ms. Bartolotta, the first 5 conformist dolts to repeat item 1 from the shaming tactics catalog can each donate 1000 dollars to
http://prostatecancer.ca/Donate/Ways-to-Donate#.UoFEeZQ6XR4
[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-bartolotta/love-and-relationships_b_4241217.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women
[2] http://www.avoiceformen.com/sexual-politics/m-g-t-o-w/mgtow-and-female-disapproval-2/
Source
Paul gets an email from three high school girls
By : I
get a lot of interesting emails. It is one of my job perks. This
morning, I woke up to find an email from three young women, British high
school students, who wrote to get some opinions on sexism in the media.
I thought I would share my answers with you, as I have with them.
First, their email:
Dear A Voice For Men
Our names are [names redacted], and we are year 10 students from [redacted]. We are conducting an investigation to find out whether sexism in the media destroys society on a global scale – and we would like to find out your opinions on our topic.
In our group we believe that sexism in the media does destroy society globally in ways such as young individuals feeling outcasted[sic] because they do not look like the ‘perfect’ and ‘skinny’ women they see in the media leading them to starving themselves just so they can be like them. It can also make men feel that they should be ‘sex gods’ because of how they are presented in magazines and on TV. Could you please answer these questions as we value your opinion.
1) What do you think about sexism in the media?
2) How are men and women presented in the media?
3) Does sexism in the media destroy society globally?
Thank you for taking the time to read our email, we would appreciate if you could get back to us as soon as possible. We look forward to hearing from you.
Many thanks,
[names redacted]
My response is as follows:
Hello [redacted], I will do my best to answer your questions.
1) What do you think about sexism in the media?
I think sexism in the media is real, and it is driven by the desire to sell products, mostly to women, which makes some measure of sense because women are the primary spenders of income in society.
2) How are men and women presented in the media?
Men are presented inaccurately in several ways. The first is that they are portrayed as bumbling fools, inferior to women and unable to cope with life without women’s help and guidance. They are also portrayed as evil abusers of women and other men. And lastly they are portrayed as sacrificial heroes and invincible tough guys, which are pretty close to the same thing. These are men who disregard their own safety and well-being, or who are so tough they don’t have to risk, in order to fulfill women’s romantic fantasies of what they want men to be. Seldom are men portrayed realistically or fairly.
Women are similarly misrepresented. One way they are presented is as much more powerful than they actually are. Think Laura Croft, Batgirl, etc.
The less overt version of this is television shows and commercials where they are cast as superwomen who perfectly balance professional and family life, while making sure their bumbling husbands stay out of trouble.
They are also presented as the damsel in distress; unrealistically innocent, helpless maidens who need a man to risk his own sacrifice to help them.
Woven throughout most of the representations of women are the issues your group is concerned with. Women having perfect bodies is symbolic of their sexual power. Women naturally gravitate toward this message because being physically perfect gives them more real life power over men and with other women. Pursuing the “perfect” body is an easy way to suck women in because innately that is what most women aspire to have. Media does not create this drive in women, it just exploits it.
3) Does sexism in the media destroy society globally?
No, sexism in society destroys society globally. Media makes its money not by creating human consciousness, but by understanding it and SELLING to it. Media is not “a thing.” In the end it is people, just like everything else that people create.
The misrepresentations of men and women I mentioned above are good examples of that. Women are the primary consumers in world culture, especially in western nations. So women are the chief targets of messages that come from media. Women want to see men played as fools and idiots (men certainly don’t want that), so that is how the media portrays them.
Women, particularly ones that are hostile to men, want to see them played as evil and abusive, so that is what they get as well. Women also want to see themselves, when not super powerful and capable, as damsels that are sexually desirable enough to have men risk and sacrifice to save them, so that is what the media gives them.
Damsels and heroes. Superwomen and idiot men; all to satisfy female consumers and the men who want to please them.
Very sad, actually. People, I mean. Not the media.
To create a better media that gives both men and women healthier messages, we don’t need to look at advertising, television or movies. We need to look in the mirror. Media is by and large an apparatus to sell people their own fantasies. When those fantasies change, so will the media.
I hope this helps and best of wishes with your project.
Paul Elam
Source
If you’re a part of this human rights movement, or even if you’re
simply male, then you also know the present culture believes that for
those beasts of burden called “men,” a persistent climate of attack is
just about perfect to keep those unruly animals in line.I have not included examples, because anyone who claims to need examples to understand the point is either lying, or too willfully stupid to bother explaining to.
If you are a man, you are a bad person. You’re stupid, you’re unworthy, probably a creep, potentially a rapist, certainly violent, emotionally stunted, sexually inadequate and/or sexually predatory, you smell, you have no style, and you’re a controlling oppressive untermensch. Unless and until you conform exactly to what the women around you want you to do, to say and to be, then you’re maybe an okay dude. Provisionally on your continued good behavior, of course. Oh yeah, and most of all you’re utterly and totally disposable – never forget that, bub.
Obviously, the various lame-stream channels of public reinforcement of the blue kool-aid that we all swim in spins endless variations of this: “y’all no-good man-boys who should do what you’re told”.
And then, every once in a long while, somebody broadcasts or publishes a piece addressing the male subset of the human race in a positive light. Hey guys, you’re okay. Hell, we like you. You’re even human beings, by golly, with feelings and everything. Hug!
The stick, and then the carrot. The most recent example of occasional positive coverage being a HuffPo article presently being praised by some of the readers of the men’s rights subreddit. “Dear Men: You Are Already Good Enough” [1] is an article written by Kate Bartolotta.
Taken by itself, it’s not a bad article. In fact, it lists a number of the very same complaints about the public climate of male vilification that writers at AVFM (including me) have frequently discussed.
Some of the comments in the men’s rights reddit posting of this particular article include the following:
- “I needed this, thank you.”
- “Beautiful article – nice to have something positive here [smiley face]”
- “Nice article. Now if only we can fix the biases men face in courts, I may actually want to risk getting involved with women. Too much to lose as it stands.”
In the comments thread of the HuffPo article itself, as I wrote this, the top-most comment was something so craven I was about to call a “pathetic dog” until noticed the commenter’s own username. What he calls himself: thatdogguy.
“Kate, thank you, thank you, thank you! By the way, will you marry me?”
Am I being too harsh to call this character a pathetic, approval-seeking dog?
Anja Eriud, writing for this site pointed out only 2 days ago: “..that women feel they reserve the right to arbitrate and exercise approval of male actions, male behaviour, and in fact male autonomy.”[2]
The point, for self-defining men of loudly disdaining engagement with the public firehose-torrent of male shaming, male villification, male-marginalizing rhetoric and ideology is not to coax some sort of positive feedback from that ideological public who until now have used the stick to coerce compliance, rather than the carrot.
The point is not to win some slivers of sympathy or praise from those who have, until now, shoveled scorn and contempt onto you, your brothers, your fathers, your sons, or your male colleagues and friends.
The point is that, whether enticed by the carrot of praise and recognition, or driven by that practiced “stick” of pain, shame and degradation; you – a man – are not a motherfucking draft animal. Neither are you anybody’s dog to be petted or swatted with rolled-up newspaper. You are a human being.
At what point did any of us agree that who and what we are, what our public identities as humans should be, would be appropriately decided by the self-interest of narcissists, overgrown toddlers, and collectivist ideological solipsists? My choices are: I’m a decent human being, or, I’m a bad man based on the self-interested opinions of members of our society’s leisure class?
No.
Which is why, besides my open contempt for the populist male vilifying narrative so pervasive it becomes the air we all breath, I have an equal disdain for praise, sympathy or affirmation from any voice in that same public discourse.
Kate Bartolotta, the author of “Dear Men: You Are Already Good Enough” might even have meant it. On the other hand, the article was originally published at the “good men project” website, a feminist site created explicitly to undermine the men’s human rights movement, so maybe we’re right back to carrot and stick.
In case anybody reading this is a slow learner, the carrot and the stick are both metaphorical tools of coercion.
So somebody in a mainstream channel has something nice, or kind to say about you if you’re male? Watching the backflips of joy from affection-starved dogs demonstrates that those fools still haven’t realized their identities do not belong to the public to be conferred on them by consensus.
“I needed this, thankyou.”
I don’t know if Bartolotta’s motivation was benign or otherwise when she wrote: “ Dear Men: You Are Already Good Enough.” However, whatever her purpose was, I don’t care. The metaphorical carrot, no less than the stick, is a tool of manipulation. Bartolotta and every other commentator looking for a lever can take their stick and their carrot, and stick them both right up their own lower alimentary canals.
Dear Kate Bartolotta: it is not your prerogative to tell me, or any other man, he’s “good enough”. His identity is his own, and if you’re lucky, when he’s decided, he may tell you who and what he is. He also might not tell you, because that’s his prerogative too. And, don’t take this too personally, but fuck off, Kate. And of course, whatever your motivation was, thanks you for your kind attention.
But in all seriousness, you can still shove it.
And one more thing: responding to this missive by Ms. Bartolotta, the first 5 conformist dolts to repeat item 1 from the shaming tactics catalog can each donate 1000 dollars to
http://prostatecancer.ca/Donate/Ways-to-Donate#.UoFEeZQ6XR4
[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-bartolotta/love-and-relationships_b_4241217.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women
[2] http://www.avoiceformen.com/sexual-politics/m-g-t-o-w/mgtow-and-female-disapproval-2/
Source
_______________________________
Paul gets an email from three high school girls
By : I
get a lot of interesting emails. It is one of my job perks. This
morning, I woke up to find an email from three young women, British high
school students, who wrote to get some opinions on sexism in the media.I thought I would share my answers with you, as I have with them.
First, their email:
Dear A Voice For Men
Our names are [names redacted], and we are year 10 students from [redacted]. We are conducting an investigation to find out whether sexism in the media destroys society on a global scale – and we would like to find out your opinions on our topic.
In our group we believe that sexism in the media does destroy society globally in ways such as young individuals feeling outcasted[sic] because they do not look like the ‘perfect’ and ‘skinny’ women they see in the media leading them to starving themselves just so they can be like them. It can also make men feel that they should be ‘sex gods’ because of how they are presented in magazines and on TV. Could you please answer these questions as we value your opinion.
1) What do you think about sexism in the media?
2) How are men and women presented in the media?
3) Does sexism in the media destroy society globally?
Thank you for taking the time to read our email, we would appreciate if you could get back to us as soon as possible. We look forward to hearing from you.
Many thanks,
[names redacted]
My response is as follows:
Hello [redacted], I will do my best to answer your questions.
1) What do you think about sexism in the media?
I think sexism in the media is real, and it is driven by the desire to sell products, mostly to women, which makes some measure of sense because women are the primary spenders of income in society.
2) How are men and women presented in the media?
Men are presented inaccurately in several ways. The first is that they are portrayed as bumbling fools, inferior to women and unable to cope with life without women’s help and guidance. They are also portrayed as evil abusers of women and other men. And lastly they are portrayed as sacrificial heroes and invincible tough guys, which are pretty close to the same thing. These are men who disregard their own safety and well-being, or who are so tough they don’t have to risk, in order to fulfill women’s romantic fantasies of what they want men to be. Seldom are men portrayed realistically or fairly.
Women are similarly misrepresented. One way they are presented is as much more powerful than they actually are. Think Laura Croft, Batgirl, etc.
The less overt version of this is television shows and commercials where they are cast as superwomen who perfectly balance professional and family life, while making sure their bumbling husbands stay out of trouble.
They are also presented as the damsel in distress; unrealistically innocent, helpless maidens who need a man to risk his own sacrifice to help them.
Woven throughout most of the representations of women are the issues your group is concerned with. Women having perfect bodies is symbolic of their sexual power. Women naturally gravitate toward this message because being physically perfect gives them more real life power over men and with other women. Pursuing the “perfect” body is an easy way to suck women in because innately that is what most women aspire to have. Media does not create this drive in women, it just exploits it.
3) Does sexism in the media destroy society globally?
No, sexism in society destroys society globally. Media makes its money not by creating human consciousness, but by understanding it and SELLING to it. Media is not “a thing.” In the end it is people, just like everything else that people create.
The misrepresentations of men and women I mentioned above are good examples of that. Women are the primary consumers in world culture, especially in western nations. So women are the chief targets of messages that come from media. Women want to see men played as fools and idiots (men certainly don’t want that), so that is how the media portrays them.
Women, particularly ones that are hostile to men, want to see them played as evil and abusive, so that is what they get as well. Women also want to see themselves, when not super powerful and capable, as damsels that are sexually desirable enough to have men risk and sacrifice to save them, so that is what the media gives them.
Damsels and heroes. Superwomen and idiot men; all to satisfy female consumers and the men who want to please them.
Very sad, actually. People, I mean. Not the media.
To create a better media that gives both men and women healthier messages, we don’t need to look at advertising, television or movies. We need to look in the mirror. Media is by and large an apparatus to sell people their own fantasies. When those fantasies change, so will the media.
I hope this helps and best of wishes with your project.
Paul Elam
Source
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