I will try to keep the preaching down to a minimum, because I myself am all of these things, and yet, also none of them. I am you and you are me (and we are all together). Well, that’s enough vague philosophizing.
Cue intro music (preferably Devo) — You might be one of the sheeple if…
1. You read this all passively.
2. You are comfortable in your language cage. I get a big kick out of the roller coaster ride that is progressive thought. Up and down they go, around and around. Someone writes an article about how we must “invent our own language” and stop using “the words of our oppressors.”
Someone else then mentions the “Global War of Terror” — re-using, bringing back to life (zombie journalism) a canard invented by the propaganda writers of the moron Bush.
“But, locust, we have to use that term, because everybody else does.” This is the DAFT war, folks, the Defense against Future Terrorism war, and please notice that I am making up language for our own use, because I refuse to use the language of the Powers Really In Charge (PRICs) — see, I just did it again.
3. You are a Republican. I can understand why many of the top 1% belong to this increasingly extremist group, because they profit from it.
For the rest of you, give a few moments of thought as to why exactly you belong to and support this party. Preferably, write these reasons down.
Of course, I have an ulterior motive. Thinking and writing will cause you to become less of a Republican. I openly state my intentions because I consider you as family and I will not lie to you. I’m relatively honest, and I deliberately said that just for the pun of it.
4. You are a Democrat. For those who have conveniently forgotten, let’s jump in the Wayback machine and journey back to 2006. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi literally crowed about how the new Democratic-led Congress had stopped all unfunded spending.
It might occur to you that the Federal debt has gone up by trillions of dollars since then, which is a lot of unfunded spending and certainly makes her a liar and a hypocrite at the very least. This has no effect upon her standing within the party or with her constituents.
Obviously, the bar for honesty and public service is really, really low if you are a Democrat. Like, below ground-level low.
5. Whichever party you belong to (or none at all), you are not angry as hell at your elected officials. They continue to get paid, they continue to give themselves perks and great health insurance, even as the majority of Americans descend into serfdom.
Obviously, the bar for self-abuse and denial is really, really incredibly low for non-politician American citizens. Cavern-low.
6. You maintain a large credit card debt. You work your ass off, and then sign a big chunk of your paycheck over to some bankster.
Tell me again why you work so hard. Do your expensive bangles and baubles really make you happy? If so, why? You need exterior things to give your life meaning and stature? So sad.
7. You shop at Wal-Mart or any other in-convenience store. Sure, people die in some far-away country tragically, slaving away in a sweatshop until a fire rages through the shoddy building or the roof collapses or the worker-ant-people die from abuse. But hey, you get cheap stuff.
If a fellow human falls in the forest but you don’t hear him scream, does it really happen?
8. You depend on the government. I’m too busy to check, so I’ll pull a number out of my tiny arse, here. Over 120% of Americans receive money from the federal government (hey, John McCain gets 3 separate pensions — there’s a man who is riding first class on the gravy train).
For a good laugh, go read a history book about how America was built by self-made inventors and entrepreneurs and hard workers. You have plenty of time while you’re waiting for your government check to arrive.
9. You believe anything, anything at all, that comes out of your TV set.
My neighbor was ranting about how disgusting Steve Harvey is on the show Family Feud. He is a loud-mouth, potty-mouth buffoon who insults people and likes to make children cry.
I have almost convinced her that this is all deliberate, that everything is done for specific reasons, especially that of making people angry, setting them apart and against each other. Thus “Family Feud,” “Storage Wars,” etc.
10. You have read all the way down here and you still haven’t done anything or thought about doing anything to change things, or to change yourself.
You are a passive reader, your brain is shrinking and dying, and the odds are increasing that you will be a sacrificial animal.
The good news is, you can use your increasingly empty cranium for extra storage space for the baubles and bangles that cost others their lives to make and cost you in ways that you ignore.
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