Polish "Vagina Beer" Contains "Vaginal Bacteria" From Two Creepy Slappers

By Tyler Durden: A Polish brewery has produced a unique concoction; beer with vaginal lactic acid from two creepy slappers, Paulina and Monika, whose "essences" are captured by a gynaecologist and treated by a laboratory in the city of Poznan in order to isolate the specific bacteria required for production, according to CEO Wojciech Mann. 

"When you drink this beer, you realize that originally there was a beautiful woman who was maybe taking a shower, dancing or laughing at the very moment. You feel a close connection with this woman,” the owner of the brewery Wojciech Mann told Sputnik.

The brew, made by "The Order of Yoni" (Yoni being the Sanskrit word for vagina) boasts 8% alcohol by volume and comes in two versions; Bottled Lust and Bottled Passion. Lust contains a "subtle nutmeg aroma and is produced using Paulina's vaginal bacteria," while Passion is a "classic light beer made from the essence of Monika's vagina."

Once the beer “containing the quintessence of femininity,” was introduced to the wider public on the brewery’s social media accounts, with a very hot advertising campaign involving Paulina and Monique, users from across the world were drawn to the Facebook page. -Sputnik

If you're wondering about STD's, fear not - "While a female netizen wondered whether the models had been tested for sexually transmitted diseases before contributing to the production of the beer, “The Order of Yoni” quickly replied that they had undergone gynecological examinations, and then the material was double-checked in the Poznan lab to make sure that the lactic acid bacteria were isolated from the smear." 

From the website: 

Imagine woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try how she tastes, feel her smell, hear her voice… Now imagine her giving you a passionate massage and gently whispering anything you'd like to hear. Now free your fantasies and imagine all of that can be closed in a bottle of beer. A golden drink brewed with her lure and grace and flavored with wild instincts. Imagine a beer which every sip offers a rendez-vous with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kisses you gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for such a beer?

We, the Order of Yoni, have prepared technology making creation of such unique beer possible. The beer containing quintessence of femininity. The technology enabling materializing her loveliness, gracefulness and character, giving you the possibility of conversion of a tasty beer into a date with real goddess.

The secret of the beer lies in her vagina. Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of a unique woman. The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfer woman’s features, allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into dance with lovely goddess.

The company hasn't said what it plans to do if the beer is picked up by a major distributor. Suffice to say Monika and Paulina's vaginas would be in for quite the workout.

Edited by AA

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